Various Pregnancy Themed Drabbles

[miari]

Title: Various Themed Drabbles
Pairings: Hanchul, Haesica, Kyumin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Humor, Crack
Summary: In which Hanchul deals with pregnancy in several different ways.
A/N: Actually, I was watching Heechul knock up his girlfriend on his drama (as well as the resulting mess) and I wanted to write Hanchul pregnancy. I couldn’t settle on one scenario, so I decided to drabble all three of my ideas.

In which Heechul is very angry at his daughter and Hangeng tries not to be:

Hangeng was testing his rice when he heard Heechul's rather distinct screech.

Normally, he'd be used to Heechul yelling incoherently, but considering that five minutes earlier Heechul had been pulled into their dining room by their panicked seventeen year old daughter, Hangeng was slightly disturbed. 

Heechul didn't normally yell at her, not like that.  She was, perhaps, the one person who was spared from Heechul’s frequent tirades, barring any horribly untoward behavior; which seemed, unfortunately, a likely explanation for all the sudden noise.

Hangeng set down his utensils, worried.  He was about to go see what the fuss was all about, when the door swung open and banged loudly against the wall.  Heechul came storming through, pushing a very pale Seunghee in front of him.

He was spluttering incoherently; Seunghee looked like she was about to bolt out the door and never come back.

"What's wrong?" Hangeng asked, wondering if this was going to take a long time and if he should turn the stove off.

Heechul growled, apparently still unable to form proper words, never mind sentences.

Hangeng sighed, "Sit," he said, and made them both face each other across the table, feeling like he was facilitating an argument between siblings.  "What's going on?"

"She," Heechul started, pointing like a five-year-old, "and her boyfriend, going to kill," he finished, as if it explained everything.

"Full sentences," Hangeng requested, thinking that he most likely would have to turn the stove off; that, or burn dinner.

"I'm going to kill her boyfriend," Heechul hissed, before turning his glare back to Seunghee, "And you are grounded for forever, do you hear me? You are never leaving this house again, not even to go buy a stick of gum.”

Seunghee burst into tears.

Several possible scenarios ran through Hangeng's mind.  Did she sneak out? Was it drugs? Did Heechul find alcohol hidden in her closet? His eyes narrowed. Had Heechul walked in on something?

Sighing, he sat down beside his daughter and patted her head.  "What happened?" he asked again, trying to sound kind and not at all anxious.  She only sobbed harder.

Oh dear, Hangeng thought, as Seunghee let her head fall onto her arms. He raised an eyebrow at Heechul over her head. Heechul only frowned deeper and mouthed boyfriend.

Hangeng let out a quiet sigh and stroked her hair until the sobbing lessened. Heechul must have walked in on something; Hangeng tried to remain neutral.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed.

Hangeng glanced at Heechul who seemed to have calmed down slightly, but he didn't look any less mad. He glowered, tossing his head. "Tell him," he demanded; Hangeng waited expectantly.

Seunghee sniffed and wiped at her face, staring glumly at the floor.

"Seunghee-yah," Hangeng whispered, and latched onto her hands, squeezing them affectionately, “Seunghee, whatever it is, even if I get mad like Heechul, or you make me so sad that I cry for days, I promise I'll forgive you and we'll work it out, okay?"

He heard Heechul snort.

"I'm," Seunghee started, her voice shaking, "I'm pregnant, baba."

Hangeng kissed his perfectly cooked Being Fried Rice goodbye.

~~~~~

In which Donghae is a wild child and Hangeng makes a lot of tea:


“He’s never called and asked us to wait up before.”

Heechul looked up from his book and watched Hangeng pace the carpet a few times. “Are you actually worried?”

“Yes?” Hangeng said, and Heechul wasn’t sure if he was hearing sarcasm or not. “Heechul, he doesn’t like us getting involved in his life.”

He set aside his book and drummed his fingers on the arm of the couch. It was true. Just that morning, Donghae had stormed out of the house after a brutal shouting match consisting of “don’t treat me like a child,” and “kids your age don’t do this sort of thing” and “can’t you just let me make my own mistakes” and “mistakes can change your life.”

It had been a bleak day. He and Hangeng had planned on trying to talk Donghae again when he had come back from his date, but then, he had called and sounded more panicked than Heechul had ever heard him. Even more than when Eunhyuk had hit his head and Donghae thought his friend was going to die. Even more than when he had gotten into his first car accident. Even more than when he had almost been arrested for sneaking around a graveyard as a part of a dare.

Heechul blew out a breath. “Okay, yeah, I’m a little worried.”

Hangeng sat down, obviously far too stressed to do anything properly, and Heechul took his hand, gripping it tightly. They stayed that way before they heard Donghae’s car sputtering to a stop in the driveway and his heavy foot steps on the porch.

They exchanged worried glances as the door slammed and they stood as Donghae rushed into the room, hair askew, tears streaking his cheeks, and all Heechul saw was his little five-year-old son, lower lip trembling, running to find appa because he had scraped his knee.

“Oh Donghae,” was all Heechul could say before Donghae was sobbing openly into Heechul’s shoulder. Someone died. Jessica? It was a horrible thought. She was perhaps the best decision Donghae had made in a very, very long time. Eunhyuk, then? Or was it Kibum? Heechul secretly hoped Donghae would need therapy; the boy could use a good counselor.

Hangeng was patting Donghae’s head awkwardly and Heechul couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “God, Hankyung, go make some tea or something. You’re being completely useless.”

Hangeng pouted.

“Don’t go,” Donghae mumbled from the crook of Heechul’s neck, “Stay here.”

They didn’t move for a good five minutes, awkward head patting and all. When he finally calmed down, Heechul pushed all three of them towards the couch; Donghae kept his face buried in is hands.

Heechul had to bite his tongue to keep silent.

“Jessica,” Donghae whispered, finally, and Heechul found himself wondering what he was going to wear to the funeral, “Jessica’s...pregnant.”

Heechul caught Hangeng’s eye and mouthed pregnant? to him, just to make sure that he had heard correctly.

“Pregnant as in with child?” Hangeng tried to clarify.

“What the hell kind of other pregnant is there?” Donghae yelled, and then collapsed back into the couch, sobbing once more. “Do you know of one? Because that would be a fucking good thing to hear right about now.”

Heechul decided to over look the swearing, considering that reprimands would not make the situation any better. “Pregnant with your child?”

Donghae nodded and Heechul thought that perhaps it was a good thing; it was certainly better than Jessica cheating and getting pregnant with someone else’s kid. At least better psychologically, for the time being.

“Are you trying to tell me that it could be worse?” Donghae asked.

“Leave the caustic phrases to me, please,” Heechul said, “You’re far to distraught to make them sound convincing.”

Donghae snorted, his face buried into Hangeng’s shoulder, his hands still holding onto Heechul’s tightly. “I’m sorry,” he said, and Heechul could hear the trembling, “I’m sorry that I was such an idiot. You’re right. You’ve always been right; I’m the dumbest person alive. I made a huge mistake and now my life is over and Jessica-” his voice broke, “I’m so sorry. I don’t want you to hate me just--I need you. I need your help. Please.”

Heechul squished closer as Donghae’s tears started again. “You’ve already been forgiven. We’re your parents, Donghae, that’s what we do. We forgive you for everything that you do and love you despite it.”

“And Jessica,” Hangeng added, sweeping away Donghae’s hair from his forehead, “You have our help, just as I’m sure you have the help of Jessica’s parents.”

“And your life is hardly over,” Heechul added, “It’s just--accelerated.”

Donghae hiccuped.

Heechul pushed at Hangeng’s shoulder. “Tea,” he ordered.

Hangeng rolled his eyes but stood up and made his way towards the kitchen.

“It’s a good thing we like Jessica,” Heechul said, as Donghae shifted his body and leaned on Heechul’s shoulder.

“You’re really not going to yell at me?”

Heechul rapped his knuckles on Donghae’s skull. “You are a complete idiot. I cannot believe that you knocked up your girlfriend...I also cannot believe that you had sex. You obviously were lying this morning when you said that you were still a virgin.”

Donghae heaved a sigh. “Obviously,” he muttered, “Like I would actually admit to having had sex without a good reason.”

“Boy do you have a good reason now,” Heechul said, and then sobered for a moment as more of the day’s previous conversation filtered into his brain. “Were you lying about the rest of it? Donghae, have you done drugs?”

“No!” Donghae protested, “No, no, no. I--that was the only thing I lied about. I promise.”

Heechul narrowed his eyes before relaxing. “Anything else that you want to get off your chest? Now’s the time, while I feel bad for you.”

“Don’t feel bad for me. This is my mistake.”

Heechul turned, suddenly, and tried to look as intimidating as possible. “Was,” he said, fiercely, “You had sex, and you were stupid about it. That was a mistake. The child is not a mistake, Donghae, it is a responsibility.”

Donghae swallowed. “I don’t. That’s not...I know that. I know. I’m going to change. I promise you. You won’t even recognize me; you’ll probably try and have me exorcised.”

Heechul snorted, “Never.”

The sound of rattling tea cups announced Hangeng’s return and they took their first few sips in silence.

“I love your tea,” Donghae murmured and Hangeng just smiled and patted his son’s knee. “I love you both,” he added, and Heechul had to swallow back tears so that he could properly respond.

“You’re a good kid,” he whispered into Donghae’s hair, “Stupid, but good.”

The doorbell rang and Heechul pushed his little (about to get bigger) family down. “I’ve got it.”

He opened the door to Jessica; he could barely see her in the horrible lighting. “Hi beautiful,” he said warmly, guessing that she was trying to gauge whether or not he was upset, “Donghae’s having tea.”

Her lower lip trembled a little and he stepped inside to make room for her. “I’m not mad,” Heechul said, “If that’s what you came to hear.”

He wasn’t expecting her to burst into tears. So much crying today, Heechul thought, before Donghae came hesitantly into the mudroom.

“Jessica?”

She was soon sobbing onto his shoulder and Heechul was about to close the door when he noticed a suitcase just outside. That was not good.

“Jessica, your face,” Heechul heard Donghae whisper, “What--what happened?”

Heechul whipped around, a Horrible, Not Good Feeling growing in his stomach, and winced when he saw something of a bruise blossoming purple on Jessica’s cheek.

She took a few shuddering gasps before managing to whisper, “My parents kicked me out.”

“Oh god,” Donghae whispered, “Oh Jessica. I’m so sorry. I’m-wait. Wait, did they hit you?”

Hangeng came into the mudroom, cup of tea still in hand, took one look around and suddenly a string of Mandarin was flying out of his mouth. Heechul strongly suspected that there were a few swears in there somewhere.

“Hankyung. Seriously. Korean. He’s not mad at you,” he added, patting Jessica’s shoulder as he noted the terrified look on her face. “Hankyung, go get something out of the freezer for the swelling.”

The story came out bit by bit, between Donghae pressing kisses into Jessica’s hair and trying to hold a bag of frozen raspberries to her face.

Her parents had yelled. Her father had hit her. Her mother had thrown a suitcase at her feet. She had packed a few things. The door had been slammed shut in her face. She had walked all the way here, crying.

“We’ll talk to them.” Hangeng tried to assure her.

“They won’t listen. They don’t like Donghae. They don’t--they don’t like you,” she ended in a whisper.

Heechul raised his eyebrows. “Why not?”

“Because,” Jessica struggled, “Because you’re--together.”

It took a moment before Heechul understood what she meant. Because he was together with another male. Well, fuck them. He certainly didn’t want his grandchild growing up with influences like that. A glance at Hangeng’s face told him that they were in accord with one another.

“Well, we’ll try anyway.”

Jessica sniffed and tried to smile bravely. Then she stood.

“What are you doing?” Heechul asked, as she moved towards the door.

“I--need a hotel, or something.”

Heechul blinked. “God, you’re as dumb as Donghae. No wonder you love each other.”

“Um,” Jessica said uncertainly.

“He means you can stay here,” Donghae said, “Come sit back down.”

“I-I can’t-“

“Of course you can,” Heechul said firmly, “I am not going to turn you away. Not after everything that you’ve been through tonight. You can even sleep with Donghae, seeing as how it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

“But-“

“Just sit,” Donghae said, “while he’s in a good mood.”

He latched onto her hand and pulled her back down next to him, pouring her another cup of tea and wrapping her hands around it, gently. Heechul was sure he had never seen Donghae this affectionate and gentle in years.

Jessica sniffed again and Heechul slid an arm around her. “Thank you,” she whispered, staring very intently at the tea and gripping the cup so hard, he feared she might make it shatter.

“You’re welcome,” Hangeng said.

Heechul smiled at him before Jessica curled into Donghae and the four of them folded around each other, a mess of arms and legs and tea cups.

~~~~~

In which Heechul could possibly inherit Disneyland and it’s all Hangeng’s fault. Sort of:


“Well,” Sungmin began, “the upside to this is that there is a strong possibility that Heechul could inherit Disneyland.”

Heechul glared. “What.”

Sungmin grinned and plopped himself down in front Heechul and Hangeng. “The first male to get pregnant is going to inherit Disneyland,” he explained, “so if you turn back to male and the baby isn’t dead--voila. Instant riches.”

Heechul blinked before grabbing the nearest thing available (a book, most likely one of Kibum’s, it’s thickness a tell tale sign) and threw it at Sungmin’s head. It missed by several feet.

“I do not want to inherit anything. I inexplicably changed into a girl and then because someone couldn’t keep it in their pants, I am now pregnant.”

“This is not all my fault,” Hangeng butt in, “You were the one who decided to flounce around wearing lingerie.”

Heechul snorted.

“With lace,” Hangeng added, whimpering slightly, “and it had ‘fuck me’ in Mandarin all over it. What the hell did you expect me to do?”

Sungmin coughed awkwardly. “The sordid details are unnecessary.”

“Whatever. The problem is that I am pregnant, even though I am normally male.”

“Well, if you change back to your normal state, maybe you won’t be pregnant,” Sungmin offered, obviously trying to be helpful but failing spectacularly.

Heechul glared again, “And this baby is just going to disappear, is that it? Poof, it never existed.”

“Don’t say that,” Hangeng pouted, “That’s sad.”

Heechul turned her icy stare to Hangeng, “Are you happy about this, Hankyung?”

Hangeng blushed, “Well, I mean--it’s our baby, Heechul. I--I never thought, I mean--yes?”

Heechul’s face soften, for perhaps a millisecond, before her hormones raged and Hangeng winced from the force of her blow. “I don’t need sappy right now.”

“Duly noted,” Hangeng muttered, rubbing his arm.

“You,” Heechul pointed at Sungmin, “Go away. You’re aggravating me.”

Sungmin let out a long-suffering sigh, but he got up. “Shall I send Leeteuk in?”

“Boy wouldn’t be able to handle the stress,” Heechul muttered, “God. Men.”

Both Sungmin and Hangeng wisely kept their mouths shut, and Heechul preened, pleased that she had them trained so well. “You,” she pointed at Hangeng, “Come and rub my neck, seeing as this is all your fault.”

Hangeng scooted over and allowed Heechul to rest against him, his hands caressing her shoulders and working at the knots, “Heechul,” he said softly, “Stop pretending that you didn’t want it.”

Heechul rolled her eyes.

“You loved every second of it, of us, together.”

“What did I say about sappy?” Heechul demanded, but her tone held only affection. Hangeng kissed her ear.

“Leeteuk is going to freak.”

“Management is going to freak,” Heechul said, sighing as Hangeng dug into a particularly sore area.

“Management can go fuck themselves. You’re mine, and so is the baby. So there.”

“Yet you worry about Leeteuk.”

Hangeng smiled and wrapped his arms around Heechul’s thin frame, pulling her onto his lap. She was secretly very happy that she was now small enough to fit in his arms comfortably. At least for now.

“I’m scared,” she finally admitted.

Hangeng smoothed her hair, “I know.”

“Like really. I’m male. What the fuck.”

Hangeng moved a hand across her belly, before sliding up to cup a breast, briefly. “You’re not male now,” he whispered, and Heechul shuddered.

“This is why me being pregnant is your fault,” she hissed, as Hangeng moved his hand back down to her stomach, letting it rest there.

“If you weren’t so damn fuckable, I’d believe you,” Hangeng replied, and only chuckled as Heechul tried to worm her way out of his arms.

“Language,” was the reprimand from the doorway, and they both turned to see Sungmin in the doorway.

“I told you to scram,” Heechul said, pouting.

“Leeteuk’s back and he wants to know why there are fifteen positive pregnancy tests lying in the bathroom.”

“Shit,” Hangeng muttered, and Sungmin smirked.

“Asshole,” Heechul scrambled to her feet and advanced on Sungmin, “Did you tell on me?”

“Heechul!” Leeteuk screeched, “Kim Heechul and Han Geng! Kitchen. Now.”

“I hope,” Heechul said venomously, as they passed Sungmin, “that you turn into a girl too and Kyuhyun gets you pregnant with sextuplets.”

Sungmin only chuckled. “Please,” he said, “If anyone’s going to turn into a girl, it would be Kyuhyun. And I wouldn’t be so stupid as to get her pregnant.”

Heechul decided that mangling Sungmin’s face was infinitely more important than facing leader wrath. She could always just blame it on the hormones.

~~~~~


The one with Donghae is my favorite.  I might expand on that at some point, if I ever finish everything else I'm working on...

Also, in case you didn't know, Disney execs announced like...forever ago that the first male to get pregnant would inherit Disneyland. Or world or whatever. So I totally didn't make that up. Actually, it's not true. Apparently, I fell for the joke. :/