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Color is Insanity in Material Form 4 (final)
I lied. Law verse isn't first. I'm sorry...enjoy??
When Heechul didn't show up in the art gallery that morning, Zhou Mi had a slight panic attack. Heechul had never once missed an opportunity to view the art, not even when he was with Ryeowook.
It wasn't until Zhou Mi saw Hangeng walking out of the palace, tears pouring out of his eyes, colors bending around him, did he remember that today was the thirtieth day.
The priest immediately began a thorough scouring of the palace, hoping that Heechul wasn't dead, either by Hangeng’s hand or from a broken heart.
When Zhou Mi finally found the God in the audience chamber, Siwon was already there, petting Heechul's head, allowing him to soak expensive fabric with tears and snot.
"He left," Heechul heaved, and Zhou Mi felt his heart shatter.
"I know," Siwon murmured.
Heechul blubbering became unintelligible, and Zhou Mi knealt beside both Gods and laid a hand on Heechul's shaking shoulder. "Want us to all gang up and kill him? It'll be awesome sight: all the Gods and their priests marching out of the palace to tear Hangeng limb from limb."
Zhou Mi thought he heard Heechul snort into Siwon's clothing and the priest smiled. Carefully, he helped Heechul onto Siwon's back and by the time they reached Heechul's chambers, the sobs had lessened.
It didn't take long for the story to get out. Ryeowook was the first to barge into the room, eyes wide and sad. He didn't waste any time, crawling onto Heechul's bed and wrapping himself around the God.
"Want me to sing?" Ryeowook asked, and didn't wait for permission, not even looking up when Yesung walked inside and added his own voice.
"Missed that," Heechul said into his pillow.
"I'm sure if you asked Zhou Mi he'd sing for you," Ryeowook replied.
Heechul just smiled and Zhou Mi thought that he'd never stop singing if it would make his Lord's smile genuine.
Kibum and Donghae came in next. "Want me to kill him?" Kibum asked, looking a little to excited at the prospect.
"Not really. He deserves his own life."
"You deserve your own happiness," Donghae returned; they didn't talk about it after that. They complained about their incompetent priests -- much to Zhou Mi's chagrin -- and they laughed over the court's idiocy together like nothing had ever happened.
Kangin came in every hour to report that Hangeng hadn't died yet.
"You know," Zhou Mi said after Kangin's fifth visit had reduced Heechul to tears again, "You're not helping. At all."
"Oh. I'll just...okay. Sorry, Heechul."
Leeteuk finally came in just before dinner and Heechul folded into him, heart break starting all over again. "It hurts," he whispered.
"I know," Leeteuk replied, and after a few moments, added, "He loves you, Heechul-ah. I know he does."
"It doesn't matter, since he's not coming back."
Zhou Mi swallowed thickly and wondered if Kyuhyun was going to make an appearance.
~~~~
Heechul spent the next day searching for Kyuhyun. He had spent the night re-living Hangeng's departure over and over and over again. He intended to first yell at and then kill Kyuhyun for making him go through the heart break so many times.
"Zhou Mi!" Heechul demanded, glaring at a few acolytes who were tripping over themselves to get out of the his way.
"Yes, my Lord?"
"Find Kyuhyun."
"He's most likely sleeping in the garden, my Lord."
Heechul turned abruptly and headed back the way he had come. "Get out of my way!" He barked at the acolytes again. He pretended not to notice as Zhou Mi bowed apologetically to them.
Kyuhyun was played out on a bench, an arm slung across his eyes to block any light. Heechul ground his teeth for a minute before screeching, "Get up!"
Kyuhyun fell off his makeshift bed and Heechul ignored his priest as he squeaked softly.
Kyuhyun groaned.
"Why the hell did I have the shittiest dreams ever last night?"
Kyuhyun situated himself on the ground and proceeded to lay there, his arm returning to it's previous position. "Heechul, that's a stupid question. Just like you can't control people's choices, I can't control people's dreams. I work with whatever is already in their heads. Right now, all you can think about is Hangeng leaving you. Therefore, that's what you dreamt."
Heechul wanted to hit him.
"If you're looking for someone on whom you can vent your anger, you've come to the wrong person."
"Well I have to yell at someone," Heechul insisted, "Pent up anger in a God of War is a bad thing."
"Yell at Hangeng," Kyuhyun suggested, "Think about that before bed and maybe you'll give me something to mold into a satisfying bitch session."
"You're insufferable," Heechul hissed, and stomped off.
He whacked Zhou Mi over the head as he passed the priest, "Stop smirking. Colors, Hangeng was a terrible influence on you."
"Sorry, my Lord," Zhou Mi bowed, following him out of the gardens, "I will endeavor to control my emotions."
"You do that. Maybe Siwon needs help with training. He won't mind if I yell at a few acolytes, right?"
“He’d only let you because he feels bad for you, my Lord.”
“It’s better than nothing.”
~~~~~
When Heechul woke up on the third day he decided to go back to his regular routine. It didn’t help him forget Hangeng as he hoped it would. Thirty people, twenty-five, he kept counting down, barely even registering their requests. It seemed like forever before there were only five people left in the audience hall. Five more people. He could do that. At the very least it would be five more minutes of his eternal existence that he didn’t have to think about Hangeng.
The first two people Heechul barely registered. They bowed so low he couldn’t see their faces or even hear their voices very well. After Heechul threw his priest a desperate look, Zhou Mi finally bent down next to them so he could properly hear and took care of their requests.
Heechul wondered why people came to see him if they actually feared him that much.
He watched as the third person shuffled towards him; the motions seemed eerily familiar and Heechul tried to place them. “What can I help you with?” Heechul asked.
The man raised his head and Heechul wasn’t sure wether to laugh or cry. “Kim Jihyun, correct?”
“I’m honored that you remember me, my Lord.”
“Yes, well,” Heechul waved a panicked Zhou Mi away, grinning, “It’s hard to forget someone who asks for war. Why are you before me today?
Kim Jihyun swallowed. “I’ve come to ask you once more for your blessing.”
“My answer is still no. You can go now.”
“Please allow me this,” Jihyun whispered, “Please, my Lord. My family is dead. My village is gone. I must do something.”
Zhou Mi stepped forward again but Heechul stopped him. “Last time you were here, you said you had the ability to protect those that you love. Were you lying?”
“No,” the man replied, “My enemy just had more ability than I did.”
“I do not condone revenge,” Heechul said carefully.
“Please allow mine,” Jihyun requested, “The man who caused this, who killed my family...I know where he is. I know with whom his allegiance lies and it would be quick. I promise you.”
“You know him?” Heechul asked.
Jihyun raised his head. “He was here the last time I petitioned, my Lord.”
Heechul blinked. “Excuse me?”
“He sat over there,” Jihyun gestured towards the side of the room and Heechul felt his heart go cold. “Until I saw him slaughter my wife I thought him to be a God, he had so much Breath.”
Heechul knew his face had gone white from shock. He felt Zhou Mi’s arms grasp him tightly as his legs failed him. Liar, Heechul thought, trying to keep his tears from falling, I know you’re lying.
“I don’t mean to cause distress,” Jihyun bowed.
“Well you have. Do you have any idea what you’re saying?” Zhou Mi hissed, “Who you’re accusing?”
He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t do that, not after everything he saw here.
“No,” Jihyun lowered his gaze, “I am simply presenting facts and asking for permission to ride against the man who has taken everything from me.”
“Well you definitely do not have it now,” Heechul rasped, finally unable to keep his emotions in check. “Get out of my sight.”
Kim Jihyun rose, bowing. “As you wish. But I will keep coming until you allow me my revenge.”
Heechul glared at the man until he walked out the door. He looked at the last two petitioners left in the building. A couple. They bowed from their positions and the women said, “We can come back tomorrow, my Lord, if you wish.”
Heechul wiped at his face, accepting the handkerchief Zhou Mi handed him. “So considerate,” Heechul said, “You are the last two; how can I help you?”
The woman smiled. “I have something for you,” she said, and walked over to him, bent at the waist.
“You needn’t scrape and bow. You expressed your kindness in your first sentence. I appreciate it.”
She straightened and smiled. “A man asked us to give this to you,” she said, “I wish I knew who he was but...I don’t.”
Heechul’s heart lifted almost immediately, thinking that perhaps it was...he wasn’t sure what he thought it was. He accepted it and then asked her, “are the two of you married?”
“Engaged,” she whispered, blushing furiously.
Heechul smiled, “That’s lovely. You should see Leeteuk while you’re here.”
The girl blushed even more. “We have nothing to ask of him. We are in love, that is all we need.”
Heechul stood and looked down at the girl, searching her features. “You know,” he said softly, “Gods are not here just for giving you things. It is okay to simply thank us for things that already are, even if we had no part in it’s occurrence. Go see Leeteuk, tell him I sent you. You will at least receive his blessing for your marriage; that is worth something, yes?”
The girl glowed.
“Wait a moment while I read this.”
“Certainly, my Lord.”
Heechul smiled as the girl bounced away to her fiance, whispering excitedly under her breath to him.
Heechul opened the letter quickly and wasn’t sure what he was supposed to feel when he read their contents.
I’m sorry.
“Sorry for what?” Heechul whispered quietly, “For leaving me? For making me fall stupid in love with you? I don’t care. You’re forgiven, just come back to me. That’s all I want.”
“My Lord?” Heechul cleared his throat at Zhou Mi’s voice and blinked quickly to clear his vision.
“Zhou Mi, do me a favor and escort the couple to Leeteuk, would you? Make sure he knows I sent them to be blessed.”
Zhou Mi’s eyes narrowed, “Are you alright?”
“Yes. I just need some time to myself. You may rejoin me for lunch.”
“As you wish,” Zhou Mi bowed.
Heechul gripped the paper in his hand tightly. The couple bowed profusely to him as they left and somehow, Heechul managed to give them a weak smile before Zhou Mi closed the door. It took a few moments before Heechul realized all over again that Hangeng was gone. And that he wasn’t coming back.
~~~~~
Heechul wondered what Hangeng was doing. Sometimes, he would dream about him sailing across oceans or fighting off mythical creatures and saving towns and cities. He didn’t believe what Kim Jihyun said. Didn’t want to believe. But when the man came and knealt before him every single day, Heechul began to worry. Just a little bit.
“I don’t know what’s going on, my Lord,” Zhou Mi said, “There are villages being raided but there always are.”
Heechul knew that technically he wasn’t supposed to worry. But he wasn’t supposed to sign a contract with an assassin for a month either...wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him. But he had.
He couldn’t help but think about what was going on outside, as day by day his line of petitioners got longer. They didn’t seem displeased, rather...happy. Like they wanted to meet him, thank him for being a good God. All save Jihyun, of course.
After a full two weeks of him appearing, Heechul starting to dread his visits. He said the same thing over and over; he accused Hangeng of malicious activity and begged for permission to chop his head off. Heechul refused.
“No,” Heechul said, on the 14th day since Hangeng left, “I will not give you my blessing. Get out.”
Jihyun started to plead, to ramble, and Heechul just rolled his eyes, scanning the rest of the petitioners, wondering if they’d actually have something interesting to say. He doubted it. His gaze flicked past the door, noting the deeply saturated colors with satisfaction. He was about to mentally comment on the shabbiness of the priest standing next to it when he did a double take. The doors shouldn’t be that saturated. He was too far away.
Heechul caught Zhou Mi’s eyes and jerked his head towards the door. Zhou Mi’s eyes narrowed as he noticed it and started to move forwards, intent to finding out what was causing such infusion of color.
Heechul's gaze flicked to Jihyun; the man was still babbling incessantly, completely oblivious to the fact that the God's attention was no longer on him.
"Enough," Heechul finally said.
Jihyun glanced up, looking terribly frustrated.
Heechul ignored him and watched as Zhou Mi pushed petitioners and priests aside to reach the doors. Zhou Mi's face went white, and Heechul stood irritably, intent on making his way down there to see what had his High priest so frightened. Surely it couldn't be that terrible?
Heechul paused mid-step as Zhou Mi stepped aside, his swallow clearly visible, even across the room.
Hangeng stepped into the audience chamber. Heechul's mouth dropped.
"My Lord," Hangeng whispered very, very softly, and Heechul wasn't sure wether to cry or not when his assassin bowed low.
"What are you doing here?" Heechul managed, the voice sounding distant.
Hangeng took a breath and then lifted his head, "I...I heard that someone was saying things about me."
He very pointedly glared at Jihyun and the man scowled back. Heechul looked from one to the other before saying, just barely in control of himself, "I haven't been listening to him."
The smallest of smiles pulled at Hangeng's lips and Heechul wanted to...well, he wanted to do lots of things.
"You're believing him?" Jihyun was on his feet, all piousness leaving his features and Heechul felt like maybe he could finally get away with punching him.
"Yes."
"He's...you don't know what he's been doing."
"Actually, I don't know what either of you have been doing. But I certainly trust him more than I do you."
Heechul's gaze dropped back to Hangeng who was still on his knees. "You don't have to kneel before me."
"Yes, I do," Hangeng replied, "We all do."
Heechul wanted to ask him what changed. The man before him was...different, not at all the assassin he had met almost two months ago. Although, Heechul thought, as he gnawed the inside of his cheek, the real question was: is Hangeng still the man Heechul loved? Loves.
Heechul belatedly realized that Jihyun was saying something "-believe him. He is killing people!"
The God tried not to laugh. "Is that what you left me for, Hangeng?"
"Of course not, my Lord," Hangeng murmured, still plastered to the floor.
"Liar!"
Heechul swept down the steps, ignoring Zhou Mi’s sounds of protest and stood directly in front of Hangeng. "Why would he think that you're killing people?"
"Because he's the one killing them, my Lord, and he wants someone else to blame."
Heechul narrowed his eyes dangerously and he saw everyone in the room take an involuntary step (or shuffle) backwards. "Oh. Really?" He kept his voice flat.
“He’s lying,” Jihyun hissed.
“He decimated villages. My village,” Hangeng whispered, “And he wants you to make it all okay.”
Heechul turned very slowly.
The God couldn’t actually read the expression on Jihyun’s face. It was something between fright and hate masked in innocence.
“So this is what you left me for,” Heechul said, nodding, “Yet, here’s the murderer and you didn’t kill him...or is it haven’t?”
“My Lord,” Jihyun tried.
“It’s will not.”
“Oh?” Heechul was having the hardest time concentrating. He wanted nothing more than to pull Hangeng up and kiss him senseless, right there in the audience hall. “Why is that?”
“That’s your fault, my Lord,” Hangeng responded, “You taught me that killing isn’t...war doesn’t...I realized I don’t have to kill him.”
Heechul smiled.
“Lies,” Jihyun was saying, “You’re a God of War, you obviously condone fighting.”
“Wrong,” Heechul said, thinking about how spectacular Hangeng’s body was going to feel against his own, “Now, get out. If I ever see you in here again, I will kill you myself, since you seem to think that killing solves all problems.”
“You’re no God.”
“Actually I am. You’re going to have to live with the fact that I’m not who you thought I was.” Heechul tore his eyes from Hangeng’s body too look at Jihyun again. “I’ve decided that I’m going to have someone watch you. If you so much as look at anyone maliciously you will be hauled back here for a trial.”
The vein of Jihyun’s forehead looked like it was going to burst.
“Get out.” Heechul pointed to the door.
The man was snarling as he walked out, taking care to kick Hangeng’s side as he passed. Zhou Mi looked far too happy as he reciprocated the action, sprawling the man onto his bottom, and then shutting the door in his face.
“Are you okay?” Heechul asked Hangeng, deciding not care about the rest of the petitioners still in the hall.
Hangeng stood, moving his side experimentally before nodding.
“Hangeng-” Heechul began before realizing that he didn’t really know the end of the sentence. Stay. I love you. You’re a fucking idiot.
Hangeng met Heechul’s eyes for longer than a moment and Heechul felt mildly hopeful.
“My Lord,” Hangeng whispered, bowing.
“Don’t-“ Heechul started, but Hangeng had turned and walked out the door. Leave. You’re a fucking idiot. I love you.
The small bit of hope Heechul had was shattered as the door shut. He thought it was louder than it had ever been before. “Stupid...” He whispered.
“My Lord,” Zhou Mi walked up to him and held onto his elbow, “Go sit down, your Grace.”
“Enough for today,” Heechul managed.
The petitioners took it upon themselves to leave, throwing curious glances at Heechul as Zhou Mi helped him out of the audience chamber.
~~~~~
The rest of the day moved by in a blur. Thankfully, he didn’t have time to himself all day. He couldn’t really think about it until after dinner.
Frustrated, irritated, and still in a daze, Heechul stumbled down corridors blindly, refusing to let his tears fall until he was in his room. He didn’t know where Zhou Mi was, but rather than being upset about it, the God was glad. He was sure if his priest saw him there would be unnecessary fretting.
Swallowing hard, he dismissed the priests at his door, telling them to go away for the night. He figured this way he could cry and scream as loud as he wanted without making any one nervous. He might even throw something expensive and break it, maybe punch lots of pillows and cushions. Looking forward to his private time, he waited until the priests were gone before entering his chambers.
He stopped short when he saw that there were already several candles lit. And that someone was in his room. On his bed. He took a breath to scream bloody murder, wondering what stupid decision had possessed him to excuse his guards.
The air caught in his throat when he saw the person’s face.
"My Lord," Hangeng said in greeting.
A rush of air whistled out of Heechul’s lips. “What,” he breathed. "How did you...you were just..." Heechul's brain shut off for a few seconds. Hangeng was in red. Shirtless. On the God's bed, splayed out, his Breath causing the red on Heechul’s bed to bend in the most beautiful ways. He was shirtless; Heechul forgot how to breathe.
"Zhou Mi," Hangeng supplied, sitting up.
Oh, don't do that, Heechul thought, because for once his mouth was refusing to work. Hangeng very obviously couldn't read minds because he continued his lazy movement and swung his legs over the side of the mattress.
"He's the best High Priest ever," Heechul managed.
“I-“ Hangeng started, “I came to apologize. Properly. I sort of....”
“You broke my heart,” Heechul supplied, his eyes still running up and down Hangeng’s body, “Twice.”
“I’m sorry,” the assassin whispered, “I am so sorry. It was stupid of me to leave without telling you anything, without your blessing...I’m...I’m so stupid. I am the stupidest person alive right now. I have nothing to give you. I fear that I am worthless. I have done so much wrong that I cannot amend.”
“So you come for judgement?” Heechul asked and he wondered if he was teasing.
“If that is what you would give me,” Hangeng nodded, “I’ve come to offer myself to you. Whatever you ask of me, I’ll do it.”
Heechul swallowed. “Why couldn’t you ask this of me earlier? You came before me and it was like...my heart was back to normal. And then you left and it shredded itself all over again. I thought I would die from the pain.”
“I...I wasn’t ready to tell you, to ask you. I just...I heard the Jihyun had reappeared and I didn’t...I had to make sure that you knew what he had done. That he was lying through his teeth. But then...you were there. And I forgot...I had forgotten how beautiful you were, how you made colors look, how you made everything come to life. I wasn’t ready for it and I...I had to leave. The force of emotions was so overwhelming. I didn’t know how you felt. I didn’t know...don’t know if you still feel the same way about me.”
The last sentence was barely audible, and Heechul took an involuntary step closer so he could hear it.
“Well, I do,” Heechul said.
“You’re a God,” Hangeng said, “You really are. It took so much for me to realize it. Coming here, being with you, being away from you...there is nothing else you could possibly be. I told everyone. Anyone that would listen, I told them about you and Leeteuk and Kyuhyun and...they listened Heechul-ah, they listened to me. They understand you and they want to know you better.”
Heechul closed the distance between them and reached out, grasping Hangeng’s hands, unable to help the shudder than ran through him at their touch. “I can’t believe that’s what you left me to do. You stupid, selfish, idiotic, handsome, brilliant...” Heechul choked on the rest of his adjectives pretended not to notice his tears. “You’re a fool,” he tried again, “My fool.”
Hangeng smiled, looking terribly relieved. They stared at each other for a moment. It was hardly romantic, but Heechul decided that he had waited long enough.
The kiss was slow at first, tentative, like they were trying to remember the steps of a dance long since forgotten. When Heechul’s hands came to rest on Hangeng’s shoulders, the God suddenly remembered that Hangeng was half naked. Strong arms came around him and they flopped onto the bed, completely undignified. Heechul closed his eyes and pulled Hangeng down on top of him, finally realizing that this was actually happening.
The second kiss was desperate. Heechul was afraid Hangeng was going to disappear, that Kyuhyun was going to pop in at any second and say, “this is what you wanted, right? I’ll just sit over here and monitor everything, then.”
Heechul kissed Hangeng’s face, his neck, squeezing him tight, his face and hands a blur as he tried to touch as much of Hangeng before he left. Before Heechul’s heart cracked all over again.
Hangeng’s hands finally caught the God’s and he pulled back a little. Heechul’s vision blurred with tears, “Don’t leave me again, I’ll do anything. I can’t...you need to be real. Please be real.”
“I’m real,” Hangeng whispered, “Just...slow down for a second.”
Heechul’s heart skipped another few beats. Had he not interpreted Hangeng correctly? Splaying yourself across someone's bed half naked could only mean so many things. Right?
Hangeng lowered his head and kissed Heechul's mouth gently.
Heechul just stared.
"Let me worship you," Hangeng whispered, “I want to adore you, venerate you,” and Heechul's eyes rolled into the back of his head as Hangeng did just that.
Every inch of Heechul's body was touched, pressed with kisses; he was treated like gold...like a God.
For the first time in his Returned existence, Heechul felt right. Felt like his body, his mind, his Breath was all aligned to where it was supposed to be. He felt like a God.
"Hangeng," he breathed, and he shook as Hangeng's mouth responded to the name, "Hangeng, Hangeng, Hangeng."
Heechul threaded his hands into Hangeng's hair, behind his neck, realizing that he hadn't been happy with his existence before this because he hadn't had Hangeng; hadn't had the other’s mouth on his body; hadn't held the other's soul inside him. "Don't," he managed to whisper, "stop."
And then all he saw were colors, everything swirling together in front of him as he arched off the bed. He was sure colors had never before been so beautiful.
When they faded, Hangeng was leaning over him, licking his lips.
"Best. Worshipping. Ever," Heechul whispered, raising a shaky hand to cup Hangeng's cheek.
"Best God ever," Hangeng replied evenly and Heechul gave in to the sudden urge to kiss him fiercely.
"Come closer," the God breathed, "You have lots of catching up to do in the worshipping department."
~~~~
“So.” Heechul said.
“Yeah.”
“You really should have done that worshipping thing sooner. You’re terribly good at it.”
Hangeng couldn’t hold back a smile.
“I suppose I have to thank Zhou Mi now.”
“Not really,” Hangeng said, running his fingers through Heechul’s hair, “He got something of equal value.”
“What?”
“Time away from you.”
Heechul punched him, “I’m a good God.”
“The best,” Hangeng pulled Heechul’s face closer, kissing his mouth, “But Zhou Mi likes Kyuhyun better.”
Heechul blinked for a minute, then, “Oh. I...I should be furious.”
“You should,” Hangeng nodded, “You should also probably go tell on them to Siwon. But you won’t.”
“I need a High Priest,” Heechul said firmly, “and they know it isn’t allowed.”
“Heechul,” Hangeng placated gently, “You have me.”
“And?” Heechul asked, looking ready to go barge in on Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun right then.
“Has Zhou Mi been a problem up until now?”
“No,” Heechul said, pulling off blankets and sheets, scrambling around the room for clothing, “But that doesn’t mean-“
“Heechul,” Hangeng whispered, coming up behind him to wrap his arms around the God, “Heechul let them be.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to. They aren’t hurting anyone but themselves over this. They meet in their dreams, Heechul. Do you remember what that was like for us? How it never felt real? I’m not asking you to let them be together, or to let Zhou Mi leave you. Just...maybe when I’m here with you, you can allow them to be with each other. I promise you that tomorrow morning, Zhou Mi will be waiting for you like normal.”
Heechul’s hands paused in his dressing. “And if he’s not?”
“Then you can be furious.”
“And I can tell Siwon?”
“Yes.”
Heechul crossed his arms, “I swear you’re all trying to kill me, each in your own little way.”
Hangeng smiled and tugged at the cloth covering his lover’s body, “Take this back off, I’ve lots of adoration left in me yet.”
~~~~
Hangeng was pretty sure he had never had a better night in his entire life. He woke early in the morning, Heechul’s head pillowed on his chest. Zhou Mi was standing at the foot of the bed looking terribly pleased with himself.
“I suppose Heechul taught you to smirk like that,” Hangeng said quietly and Zhou Mi grinned.
Hangeng pulled away from Heechul and smiled as the God mumbled something, wrapping himself around a pillow as Hangeng slid from the bed to go stand beside the priest.
“I...thank you for last night it was...amazing,” he said. “Kyuhyun may be the God of Dreams but...dreams do not hold a candle to real life.”
“You’re welcome,” Hangeng replied easily, “I...I had to tell Heechul.”
Zhou Mi’s grin dropped from his face.
“He’s okay with it,” Hangeng said hurriedly, “for now. As long as you can prove to him that it won’t affect your duties.”
“And as long as I never see anything,” Heechul mumbled from the bed.
“Go back to sleep,” Hangeng ordered, “I’m handling it.”
“What the hell, I let you back into my life and all of a sudden you’re running everything?”
“Excuse us?” Hangeng asked the priest sweetly, “We’ll be out in a bit.”
Zhou Mi fled.
“Hangeng. What. The. Hell.”
“Stop worrying,” Hangeng said, pushing Heechul back onto the bed. “And start kissing.”
“You are not going to win me over with sex.”
“No?”
~~~~~
“So what exactly are you going to do?”
Heechul had to admit the other Gods had not taken long to adapt to the idea of Hangeng staying around; after they had yelled at him profusely for leaving Heechul and breaking his heart. Heechul had to admit Hangeng had deserved it.
“We had an idea about that, actually.”
Siwon raised his eyebrows.
“Messenger.”
“What?” Kibum asked.
“To the people. To talk about us, teach, recruit priests...whatever needs to be done. Our hands in the mortal world.”
“You don’t want him as a priest?” Leeteuk asked.
“I already have a priest,” Heechul returned, throwing a pointed glare at Kyuhyun, “And I don’t intend on getting rid of him any time soon.”
The idea of Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi still bothered him, but...Hangeng had been persuasive. “What if we were in their position?” Hangeng had questioned, and it had taken a few kisses before Heechul had to agree. It would suck. Maybe they couldn’t always be together, maybe it was only in their dreams, but Heechul could allow them a night every once and awhile, when he was with Hangeng. When he was just Heechul, not a God, and didn’t need a High Priest.
“He wouldn’t be here that often,” Siwon said, “Are you okay with that?”
Heechul glanced down at Hangeng, “Well, we figure, this is just the beginning, he can find people to help him, start a network of people and eventually organize everything from here.”
“Sneaky,” Kyuhyun said, smiling, “I like it.”
“Me too,” Kibum said, “It has potential to solve all our problems.”
“I like it too,” Leeteuk said, and Heechul felt his heart threaten to burst from happiness as one by one each God agreed.
“Not as hard as I thought it was going to be,” he said, and Kibum chucked a pillow at his head.
~~~~
“Are you sure about this?” Heechul asked Hangeng as they stood on the God’s balcony, staring out at the stars.
“Of course I am. I loved talking about you; loved sharing your stories. I’ll have to do a ton of research, talk to the other Gods...it’ll be fun.”
Heechul moved closer and buried himself into Hangeng’s side, “I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”
“Sad already?” Hangeng wrapped an arm around the God and kissed his head. “I won’t leave for awhile.”
“I know.”
“I’ll come back. I’ll always come back.”
“Promise?”
Hangeng turned the half hug in to a full blown body crushing. “Promise,” he whispered into Heechul’s ear.
“I’ll never forgive you if you don’t.”
“I know,” Hangeng chuckled.
Heechul sighed into his shoulder before pulling away to link their fingers tightly. “I wonder,” he mused quietly, “If maybe I should start another war or two.”
Hangeng’s jaw dropped.
“Well,” Heechul said, with a small smirk, “The last one brought you to me, didn’t it? What do you think I can get out of the next one?”
Hangeng blinked at him for a moment before realizing that he was kidding. “You...”
Heechul laughed.
“Don’t do that. You can’t...Heechul!”
The God continued to cackle as he walked back into his chambers, Hangeng following him, intent on causing damage. “Come back here! Apologize to my heart! You made it stop!”
Heechul continued to laugh as he flopped onto the bed.
“Ass!” Hangeng accused, folding his arms.
“And proud of it,” Heechul grinned. “What’s it to you?”
Hangeng paused for a second before crawling in between the God’s legs and letting their lips touch briefly.
“Everything,” he responded.
Heechul decided to not mind that Hangeng hadn’t actually answered the question and instead focused on the way their bodies fit together perfectly.
He thought that immortality was shaping up to be a very pleasant thing.
~~~~~~
I tried to write the next law verse. But after getting a few sentences over the course of this week I was like...okay. Colors just needs to leave my brain.
Anyway. I hope the end of this makes sense. I was originally going to make Hangeng Heechul's new priest so there could be happy ending QMi, but then I was like...eh...the way I wrote this it just isn't possible. :/
So yeah. I hope you guys liked this and it ended well. Good endings are the bane of my existence.
Thx for all the love. :)
When Heechul didn't show up in the art gallery that morning, Zhou Mi had a slight panic attack. Heechul had never once missed an opportunity to view the art, not even when he was with Ryeowook.
It wasn't until Zhou Mi saw Hangeng walking out of the palace, tears pouring out of his eyes, colors bending around him, did he remember that today was the thirtieth day.
The priest immediately began a thorough scouring of the palace, hoping that Heechul wasn't dead, either by Hangeng’s hand or from a broken heart.
When Zhou Mi finally found the God in the audience chamber, Siwon was already there, petting Heechul's head, allowing him to soak expensive fabric with tears and snot.
"He left," Heechul heaved, and Zhou Mi felt his heart shatter.
"I know," Siwon murmured.
Heechul blubbering became unintelligible, and Zhou Mi knealt beside both Gods and laid a hand on Heechul's shaking shoulder. "Want us to all gang up and kill him? It'll be awesome sight: all the Gods and their priests marching out of the palace to tear Hangeng limb from limb."
Zhou Mi thought he heard Heechul snort into Siwon's clothing and the priest smiled. Carefully, he helped Heechul onto Siwon's back and by the time they reached Heechul's chambers, the sobs had lessened.
It didn't take long for the story to get out. Ryeowook was the first to barge into the room, eyes wide and sad. He didn't waste any time, crawling onto Heechul's bed and wrapping himself around the God.
"Want me to sing?" Ryeowook asked, and didn't wait for permission, not even looking up when Yesung walked inside and added his own voice.
"Missed that," Heechul said into his pillow.
"I'm sure if you asked Zhou Mi he'd sing for you," Ryeowook replied.
Heechul just smiled and Zhou Mi thought that he'd never stop singing if it would make his Lord's smile genuine.
Kibum and Donghae came in next. "Want me to kill him?" Kibum asked, looking a little to excited at the prospect.
"Not really. He deserves his own life."
"You deserve your own happiness," Donghae returned; they didn't talk about it after that. They complained about their incompetent priests -- much to Zhou Mi's chagrin -- and they laughed over the court's idiocy together like nothing had ever happened.
Kangin came in every hour to report that Hangeng hadn't died yet.
"You know," Zhou Mi said after Kangin's fifth visit had reduced Heechul to tears again, "You're not helping. At all."
"Oh. I'll just...okay. Sorry, Heechul."
Leeteuk finally came in just before dinner and Heechul folded into him, heart break starting all over again. "It hurts," he whispered.
"I know," Leeteuk replied, and after a few moments, added, "He loves you, Heechul-ah. I know he does."
"It doesn't matter, since he's not coming back."
Zhou Mi swallowed thickly and wondered if Kyuhyun was going to make an appearance.
~~~~
Heechul spent the next day searching for Kyuhyun. He had spent the night re-living Hangeng's departure over and over and over again. He intended to first yell at and then kill Kyuhyun for making him go through the heart break so many times.
"Zhou Mi!" Heechul demanded, glaring at a few acolytes who were tripping over themselves to get out of the his way.
"Yes, my Lord?"
"Find Kyuhyun."
"He's most likely sleeping in the garden, my Lord."
Heechul turned abruptly and headed back the way he had come. "Get out of my way!" He barked at the acolytes again. He pretended not to notice as Zhou Mi bowed apologetically to them.
Kyuhyun was played out on a bench, an arm slung across his eyes to block any light. Heechul ground his teeth for a minute before screeching, "Get up!"
Kyuhyun fell off his makeshift bed and Heechul ignored his priest as he squeaked softly.
Kyuhyun groaned.
"Why the hell did I have the shittiest dreams ever last night?"
Kyuhyun situated himself on the ground and proceeded to lay there, his arm returning to it's previous position. "Heechul, that's a stupid question. Just like you can't control people's choices, I can't control people's dreams. I work with whatever is already in their heads. Right now, all you can think about is Hangeng leaving you. Therefore, that's what you dreamt."
Heechul wanted to hit him.
"If you're looking for someone on whom you can vent your anger, you've come to the wrong person."
"Well I have to yell at someone," Heechul insisted, "Pent up anger in a God of War is a bad thing."
"Yell at Hangeng," Kyuhyun suggested, "Think about that before bed and maybe you'll give me something to mold into a satisfying bitch session."
"You're insufferable," Heechul hissed, and stomped off.
He whacked Zhou Mi over the head as he passed the priest, "Stop smirking. Colors, Hangeng was a terrible influence on you."
"Sorry, my Lord," Zhou Mi bowed, following him out of the gardens, "I will endeavor to control my emotions."
"You do that. Maybe Siwon needs help with training. He won't mind if I yell at a few acolytes, right?"
“He’d only let you because he feels bad for you, my Lord.”
“It’s better than nothing.”
~~~~~
When Heechul woke up on the third day he decided to go back to his regular routine. It didn’t help him forget Hangeng as he hoped it would. Thirty people, twenty-five, he kept counting down, barely even registering their requests. It seemed like forever before there were only five people left in the audience hall. Five more people. He could do that. At the very least it would be five more minutes of his eternal existence that he didn’t have to think about Hangeng.
The first two people Heechul barely registered. They bowed so low he couldn’t see their faces or even hear their voices very well. After Heechul threw his priest a desperate look, Zhou Mi finally bent down next to them so he could properly hear and took care of their requests.
Heechul wondered why people came to see him if they actually feared him that much.
He watched as the third person shuffled towards him; the motions seemed eerily familiar and Heechul tried to place them. “What can I help you with?” Heechul asked.
The man raised his head and Heechul wasn’t sure wether to laugh or cry. “Kim Jihyun, correct?”
“I’m honored that you remember me, my Lord.”
“Yes, well,” Heechul waved a panicked Zhou Mi away, grinning, “It’s hard to forget someone who asks for war. Why are you before me today?
Kim Jihyun swallowed. “I’ve come to ask you once more for your blessing.”
“My answer is still no. You can go now.”
“Please allow me this,” Jihyun whispered, “Please, my Lord. My family is dead. My village is gone. I must do something.”
Zhou Mi stepped forward again but Heechul stopped him. “Last time you were here, you said you had the ability to protect those that you love. Were you lying?”
“No,” the man replied, “My enemy just had more ability than I did.”
“I do not condone revenge,” Heechul said carefully.
“Please allow mine,” Jihyun requested, “The man who caused this, who killed my family...I know where he is. I know with whom his allegiance lies and it would be quick. I promise you.”
“You know him?” Heechul asked.
Jihyun raised his head. “He was here the last time I petitioned, my Lord.”
Heechul blinked. “Excuse me?”
“He sat over there,” Jihyun gestured towards the side of the room and Heechul felt his heart go cold. “Until I saw him slaughter my wife I thought him to be a God, he had so much Breath.”
Heechul knew his face had gone white from shock. He felt Zhou Mi’s arms grasp him tightly as his legs failed him. Liar, Heechul thought, trying to keep his tears from falling, I know you’re lying.
“I don’t mean to cause distress,” Jihyun bowed.
“Well you have. Do you have any idea what you’re saying?” Zhou Mi hissed, “Who you’re accusing?”
He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t do that, not after everything he saw here.
“No,” Jihyun lowered his gaze, “I am simply presenting facts and asking for permission to ride against the man who has taken everything from me.”
“Well you definitely do not have it now,” Heechul rasped, finally unable to keep his emotions in check. “Get out of my sight.”
Kim Jihyun rose, bowing. “As you wish. But I will keep coming until you allow me my revenge.”
Heechul glared at the man until he walked out the door. He looked at the last two petitioners left in the building. A couple. They bowed from their positions and the women said, “We can come back tomorrow, my Lord, if you wish.”
Heechul wiped at his face, accepting the handkerchief Zhou Mi handed him. “So considerate,” Heechul said, “You are the last two; how can I help you?”
The woman smiled. “I have something for you,” she said, and walked over to him, bent at the waist.
“You needn’t scrape and bow. You expressed your kindness in your first sentence. I appreciate it.”
She straightened and smiled. “A man asked us to give this to you,” she said, “I wish I knew who he was but...I don’t.”
Heechul’s heart lifted almost immediately, thinking that perhaps it was...he wasn’t sure what he thought it was. He accepted it and then asked her, “are the two of you married?”
“Engaged,” she whispered, blushing furiously.
Heechul smiled, “That’s lovely. You should see Leeteuk while you’re here.”
The girl blushed even more. “We have nothing to ask of him. We are in love, that is all we need.”
Heechul stood and looked down at the girl, searching her features. “You know,” he said softly, “Gods are not here just for giving you things. It is okay to simply thank us for things that already are, even if we had no part in it’s occurrence. Go see Leeteuk, tell him I sent you. You will at least receive his blessing for your marriage; that is worth something, yes?”
The girl glowed.
“Wait a moment while I read this.”
“Certainly, my Lord.”
Heechul smiled as the girl bounced away to her fiance, whispering excitedly under her breath to him.
Heechul opened the letter quickly and wasn’t sure what he was supposed to feel when he read their contents.
I’m sorry.
“Sorry for what?” Heechul whispered quietly, “For leaving me? For making me fall stupid in love with you? I don’t care. You’re forgiven, just come back to me. That’s all I want.”
“My Lord?” Heechul cleared his throat at Zhou Mi’s voice and blinked quickly to clear his vision.
“Zhou Mi, do me a favor and escort the couple to Leeteuk, would you? Make sure he knows I sent them to be blessed.”
Zhou Mi’s eyes narrowed, “Are you alright?”
“Yes. I just need some time to myself. You may rejoin me for lunch.”
“As you wish,” Zhou Mi bowed.
Heechul gripped the paper in his hand tightly. The couple bowed profusely to him as they left and somehow, Heechul managed to give them a weak smile before Zhou Mi closed the door. It took a few moments before Heechul realized all over again that Hangeng was gone. And that he wasn’t coming back.
~~~~~
Heechul wondered what Hangeng was doing. Sometimes, he would dream about him sailing across oceans or fighting off mythical creatures and saving towns and cities. He didn’t believe what Kim Jihyun said. Didn’t want to believe. But when the man came and knealt before him every single day, Heechul began to worry. Just a little bit.
“I don’t know what’s going on, my Lord,” Zhou Mi said, “There are villages being raided but there always are.”
Heechul knew that technically he wasn’t supposed to worry. But he wasn’t supposed to sign a contract with an assassin for a month either...wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him. But he had.
He couldn’t help but think about what was going on outside, as day by day his line of petitioners got longer. They didn’t seem displeased, rather...happy. Like they wanted to meet him, thank him for being a good God. All save Jihyun, of course.
After a full two weeks of him appearing, Heechul starting to dread his visits. He said the same thing over and over; he accused Hangeng of malicious activity and begged for permission to chop his head off. Heechul refused.
“No,” Heechul said, on the 14th day since Hangeng left, “I will not give you my blessing. Get out.”
Jihyun started to plead, to ramble, and Heechul just rolled his eyes, scanning the rest of the petitioners, wondering if they’d actually have something interesting to say. He doubted it. His gaze flicked past the door, noting the deeply saturated colors with satisfaction. He was about to mentally comment on the shabbiness of the priest standing next to it when he did a double take. The doors shouldn’t be that saturated. He was too far away.
Heechul caught Zhou Mi’s eyes and jerked his head towards the door. Zhou Mi’s eyes narrowed as he noticed it and started to move forwards, intent to finding out what was causing such infusion of color.
Heechul's gaze flicked to Jihyun; the man was still babbling incessantly, completely oblivious to the fact that the God's attention was no longer on him.
"Enough," Heechul finally said.
Jihyun glanced up, looking terribly frustrated.
Heechul ignored him and watched as Zhou Mi pushed petitioners and priests aside to reach the doors. Zhou Mi's face went white, and Heechul stood irritably, intent on making his way down there to see what had his High priest so frightened. Surely it couldn't be that terrible?
Heechul paused mid-step as Zhou Mi stepped aside, his swallow clearly visible, even across the room.
Hangeng stepped into the audience chamber. Heechul's mouth dropped.
"My Lord," Hangeng whispered very, very softly, and Heechul wasn't sure wether to cry or not when his assassin bowed low.
"What are you doing here?" Heechul managed, the voice sounding distant.
Hangeng took a breath and then lifted his head, "I...I heard that someone was saying things about me."
He very pointedly glared at Jihyun and the man scowled back. Heechul looked from one to the other before saying, just barely in control of himself, "I haven't been listening to him."
The smallest of smiles pulled at Hangeng's lips and Heechul wanted to...well, he wanted to do lots of things.
"You're believing him?" Jihyun was on his feet, all piousness leaving his features and Heechul felt like maybe he could finally get away with punching him.
"Yes."
"He's...you don't know what he's been doing."
"Actually, I don't know what either of you have been doing. But I certainly trust him more than I do you."
Heechul's gaze dropped back to Hangeng who was still on his knees. "You don't have to kneel before me."
"Yes, I do," Hangeng replied, "We all do."
Heechul wanted to ask him what changed. The man before him was...different, not at all the assassin he had met almost two months ago. Although, Heechul thought, as he gnawed the inside of his cheek, the real question was: is Hangeng still the man Heechul loved? Loves.
Heechul belatedly realized that Jihyun was saying something "-believe him. He is killing people!"
The God tried not to laugh. "Is that what you left me for, Hangeng?"
"Of course not, my Lord," Hangeng murmured, still plastered to the floor.
"Liar!"
Heechul swept down the steps, ignoring Zhou Mi’s sounds of protest and stood directly in front of Hangeng. "Why would he think that you're killing people?"
"Because he's the one killing them, my Lord, and he wants someone else to blame."
Heechul narrowed his eyes dangerously and he saw everyone in the room take an involuntary step (or shuffle) backwards. "Oh. Really?" He kept his voice flat.
“He’s lying,” Jihyun hissed.
“He decimated villages. My village,” Hangeng whispered, “And he wants you to make it all okay.”
Heechul turned very slowly.
The God couldn’t actually read the expression on Jihyun’s face. It was something between fright and hate masked in innocence.
“So this is what you left me for,” Heechul said, nodding, “Yet, here’s the murderer and you didn’t kill him...or is it haven’t?”
“My Lord,” Jihyun tried.
“It’s will not.”
“Oh?” Heechul was having the hardest time concentrating. He wanted nothing more than to pull Hangeng up and kiss him senseless, right there in the audience hall. “Why is that?”
“That’s your fault, my Lord,” Hangeng responded, “You taught me that killing isn’t...war doesn’t...I realized I don’t have to kill him.”
Heechul smiled.
“Lies,” Jihyun was saying, “You’re a God of War, you obviously condone fighting.”
“Wrong,” Heechul said, thinking about how spectacular Hangeng’s body was going to feel against his own, “Now, get out. If I ever see you in here again, I will kill you myself, since you seem to think that killing solves all problems.”
“You’re no God.”
“Actually I am. You’re going to have to live with the fact that I’m not who you thought I was.” Heechul tore his eyes from Hangeng’s body too look at Jihyun again. “I’ve decided that I’m going to have someone watch you. If you so much as look at anyone maliciously you will be hauled back here for a trial.”
The vein of Jihyun’s forehead looked like it was going to burst.
“Get out.” Heechul pointed to the door.
The man was snarling as he walked out, taking care to kick Hangeng’s side as he passed. Zhou Mi looked far too happy as he reciprocated the action, sprawling the man onto his bottom, and then shutting the door in his face.
“Are you okay?” Heechul asked Hangeng, deciding not care about the rest of the petitioners still in the hall.
Hangeng stood, moving his side experimentally before nodding.
“Hangeng-” Heechul began before realizing that he didn’t really know the end of the sentence. Stay. I love you. You’re a fucking idiot.
Hangeng met Heechul’s eyes for longer than a moment and Heechul felt mildly hopeful.
“My Lord,” Hangeng whispered, bowing.
“Don’t-“ Heechul started, but Hangeng had turned and walked out the door. Leave. You’re a fucking idiot. I love you.
The small bit of hope Heechul had was shattered as the door shut. He thought it was louder than it had ever been before. “Stupid...” He whispered.
“My Lord,” Zhou Mi walked up to him and held onto his elbow, “Go sit down, your Grace.”
“Enough for today,” Heechul managed.
The petitioners took it upon themselves to leave, throwing curious glances at Heechul as Zhou Mi helped him out of the audience chamber.
~~~~~
The rest of the day moved by in a blur. Thankfully, he didn’t have time to himself all day. He couldn’t really think about it until after dinner.
Frustrated, irritated, and still in a daze, Heechul stumbled down corridors blindly, refusing to let his tears fall until he was in his room. He didn’t know where Zhou Mi was, but rather than being upset about it, the God was glad. He was sure if his priest saw him there would be unnecessary fretting.
Swallowing hard, he dismissed the priests at his door, telling them to go away for the night. He figured this way he could cry and scream as loud as he wanted without making any one nervous. He might even throw something expensive and break it, maybe punch lots of pillows and cushions. Looking forward to his private time, he waited until the priests were gone before entering his chambers.
He stopped short when he saw that there were already several candles lit. And that someone was in his room. On his bed. He took a breath to scream bloody murder, wondering what stupid decision had possessed him to excuse his guards.
The air caught in his throat when he saw the person’s face.
"My Lord," Hangeng said in greeting.
A rush of air whistled out of Heechul’s lips. “What,” he breathed. "How did you...you were just..." Heechul's brain shut off for a few seconds. Hangeng was in red. Shirtless. On the God's bed, splayed out, his Breath causing the red on Heechul’s bed to bend in the most beautiful ways. He was shirtless; Heechul forgot how to breathe.
"Zhou Mi," Hangeng supplied, sitting up.
Oh, don't do that, Heechul thought, because for once his mouth was refusing to work. Hangeng very obviously couldn't read minds because he continued his lazy movement and swung his legs over the side of the mattress.
"He's the best High Priest ever," Heechul managed.
“I-“ Hangeng started, “I came to apologize. Properly. I sort of....”
“You broke my heart,” Heechul supplied, his eyes still running up and down Hangeng’s body, “Twice.”
“I’m sorry,” the assassin whispered, “I am so sorry. It was stupid of me to leave without telling you anything, without your blessing...I’m...I’m so stupid. I am the stupidest person alive right now. I have nothing to give you. I fear that I am worthless. I have done so much wrong that I cannot amend.”
“So you come for judgement?” Heechul asked and he wondered if he was teasing.
“If that is what you would give me,” Hangeng nodded, “I’ve come to offer myself to you. Whatever you ask of me, I’ll do it.”
Heechul swallowed. “Why couldn’t you ask this of me earlier? You came before me and it was like...my heart was back to normal. And then you left and it shredded itself all over again. I thought I would die from the pain.”
“I...I wasn’t ready to tell you, to ask you. I just...I heard the Jihyun had reappeared and I didn’t...I had to make sure that you knew what he had done. That he was lying through his teeth. But then...you were there. And I forgot...I had forgotten how beautiful you were, how you made colors look, how you made everything come to life. I wasn’t ready for it and I...I had to leave. The force of emotions was so overwhelming. I didn’t know how you felt. I didn’t know...don’t know if you still feel the same way about me.”
The last sentence was barely audible, and Heechul took an involuntary step closer so he could hear it.
“Well, I do,” Heechul said.
“You’re a God,” Hangeng said, “You really are. It took so much for me to realize it. Coming here, being with you, being away from you...there is nothing else you could possibly be. I told everyone. Anyone that would listen, I told them about you and Leeteuk and Kyuhyun and...they listened Heechul-ah, they listened to me. They understand you and they want to know you better.”
Heechul closed the distance between them and reached out, grasping Hangeng’s hands, unable to help the shudder than ran through him at their touch. “I can’t believe that’s what you left me to do. You stupid, selfish, idiotic, handsome, brilliant...” Heechul choked on the rest of his adjectives pretended not to notice his tears. “You’re a fool,” he tried again, “My fool.”
Hangeng smiled, looking terribly relieved. They stared at each other for a moment. It was hardly romantic, but Heechul decided that he had waited long enough.
The kiss was slow at first, tentative, like they were trying to remember the steps of a dance long since forgotten. When Heechul’s hands came to rest on Hangeng’s shoulders, the God suddenly remembered that Hangeng was half naked. Strong arms came around him and they flopped onto the bed, completely undignified. Heechul closed his eyes and pulled Hangeng down on top of him, finally realizing that this was actually happening.
The second kiss was desperate. Heechul was afraid Hangeng was going to disappear, that Kyuhyun was going to pop in at any second and say, “this is what you wanted, right? I’ll just sit over here and monitor everything, then.”
Heechul kissed Hangeng’s face, his neck, squeezing him tight, his face and hands a blur as he tried to touch as much of Hangeng before he left. Before Heechul’s heart cracked all over again.
Hangeng’s hands finally caught the God’s and he pulled back a little. Heechul’s vision blurred with tears, “Don’t leave me again, I’ll do anything. I can’t...you need to be real. Please be real.”
“I’m real,” Hangeng whispered, “Just...slow down for a second.”
Heechul’s heart skipped another few beats. Had he not interpreted Hangeng correctly? Splaying yourself across someone's bed half naked could only mean so many things. Right?
Hangeng lowered his head and kissed Heechul's mouth gently.
Heechul just stared.
"Let me worship you," Hangeng whispered, “I want to adore you, venerate you,” and Heechul's eyes rolled into the back of his head as Hangeng did just that.
Every inch of Heechul's body was touched, pressed with kisses; he was treated like gold...like a God.
For the first time in his Returned existence, Heechul felt right. Felt like his body, his mind, his Breath was all aligned to where it was supposed to be. He felt like a God.
"Hangeng," he breathed, and he shook as Hangeng's mouth responded to the name, "Hangeng, Hangeng, Hangeng."
Heechul threaded his hands into Hangeng's hair, behind his neck, realizing that he hadn't been happy with his existence before this because he hadn't had Hangeng; hadn't had the other’s mouth on his body; hadn't held the other's soul inside him. "Don't," he managed to whisper, "stop."
And then all he saw were colors, everything swirling together in front of him as he arched off the bed. He was sure colors had never before been so beautiful.
When they faded, Hangeng was leaning over him, licking his lips.
"Best. Worshipping. Ever," Heechul whispered, raising a shaky hand to cup Hangeng's cheek.
"Best God ever," Hangeng replied evenly and Heechul gave in to the sudden urge to kiss him fiercely.
"Come closer," the God breathed, "You have lots of catching up to do in the worshipping department."
~~~~
“So.” Heechul said.
“Yeah.”
“You really should have done that worshipping thing sooner. You’re terribly good at it.”
Hangeng couldn’t hold back a smile.
“I suppose I have to thank Zhou Mi now.”
“Not really,” Hangeng said, running his fingers through Heechul’s hair, “He got something of equal value.”
“What?”
“Time away from you.”
Heechul punched him, “I’m a good God.”
“The best,” Hangeng pulled Heechul’s face closer, kissing his mouth, “But Zhou Mi likes Kyuhyun better.”
Heechul blinked for a minute, then, “Oh. I...I should be furious.”
“You should,” Hangeng nodded, “You should also probably go tell on them to Siwon. But you won’t.”
“I need a High Priest,” Heechul said firmly, “and they know it isn’t allowed.”
“Heechul,” Hangeng placated gently, “You have me.”
“And?” Heechul asked, looking ready to go barge in on Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun right then.
“Has Zhou Mi been a problem up until now?”
“No,” Heechul said, pulling off blankets and sheets, scrambling around the room for clothing, “But that doesn’t mean-“
“Heechul,” Hangeng whispered, coming up behind him to wrap his arms around the God, “Heechul let them be.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to. They aren’t hurting anyone but themselves over this. They meet in their dreams, Heechul. Do you remember what that was like for us? How it never felt real? I’m not asking you to let them be together, or to let Zhou Mi leave you. Just...maybe when I’m here with you, you can allow them to be with each other. I promise you that tomorrow morning, Zhou Mi will be waiting for you like normal.”
Heechul’s hands paused in his dressing. “And if he’s not?”
“Then you can be furious.”
“And I can tell Siwon?”
“Yes.”
Heechul crossed his arms, “I swear you’re all trying to kill me, each in your own little way.”
Hangeng smiled and tugged at the cloth covering his lover’s body, “Take this back off, I’ve lots of adoration left in me yet.”
~~~~
Hangeng was pretty sure he had never had a better night in his entire life. He woke early in the morning, Heechul’s head pillowed on his chest. Zhou Mi was standing at the foot of the bed looking terribly pleased with himself.
“I suppose Heechul taught you to smirk like that,” Hangeng said quietly and Zhou Mi grinned.
Hangeng pulled away from Heechul and smiled as the God mumbled something, wrapping himself around a pillow as Hangeng slid from the bed to go stand beside the priest.
“I...thank you for last night it was...amazing,” he said. “Kyuhyun may be the God of Dreams but...dreams do not hold a candle to real life.”
“You’re welcome,” Hangeng replied easily, “I...I had to tell Heechul.”
Zhou Mi’s grin dropped from his face.
“He’s okay with it,” Hangeng said hurriedly, “for now. As long as you can prove to him that it won’t affect your duties.”
“And as long as I never see anything,” Heechul mumbled from the bed.
“Go back to sleep,” Hangeng ordered, “I’m handling it.”
“What the hell, I let you back into my life and all of a sudden you’re running everything?”
“Excuse us?” Hangeng asked the priest sweetly, “We’ll be out in a bit.”
Zhou Mi fled.
“Hangeng. What. The. Hell.”
“Stop worrying,” Hangeng said, pushing Heechul back onto the bed. “And start kissing.”
“You are not going to win me over with sex.”
“No?”
~~~~~
“So what exactly are you going to do?”
Heechul had to admit the other Gods had not taken long to adapt to the idea of Hangeng staying around; after they had yelled at him profusely for leaving Heechul and breaking his heart. Heechul had to admit Hangeng had deserved it.
“We had an idea about that, actually.”
Siwon raised his eyebrows.
“Messenger.”
“What?” Kibum asked.
“To the people. To talk about us, teach, recruit priests...whatever needs to be done. Our hands in the mortal world.”
“You don’t want him as a priest?” Leeteuk asked.
“I already have a priest,” Heechul returned, throwing a pointed glare at Kyuhyun, “And I don’t intend on getting rid of him any time soon.”
The idea of Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi still bothered him, but...Hangeng had been persuasive. “What if we were in their position?” Hangeng had questioned, and it had taken a few kisses before Heechul had to agree. It would suck. Maybe they couldn’t always be together, maybe it was only in their dreams, but Heechul could allow them a night every once and awhile, when he was with Hangeng. When he was just Heechul, not a God, and didn’t need a High Priest.
“He wouldn’t be here that often,” Siwon said, “Are you okay with that?”
Heechul glanced down at Hangeng, “Well, we figure, this is just the beginning, he can find people to help him, start a network of people and eventually organize everything from here.”
“Sneaky,” Kyuhyun said, smiling, “I like it.”
“Me too,” Kibum said, “It has potential to solve all our problems.”
“I like it too,” Leeteuk said, and Heechul felt his heart threaten to burst from happiness as one by one each God agreed.
“Not as hard as I thought it was going to be,” he said, and Kibum chucked a pillow at his head.
~~~~
“Are you sure about this?” Heechul asked Hangeng as they stood on the God’s balcony, staring out at the stars.
“Of course I am. I loved talking about you; loved sharing your stories. I’ll have to do a ton of research, talk to the other Gods...it’ll be fun.”
Heechul moved closer and buried himself into Hangeng’s side, “I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”
“Sad already?” Hangeng wrapped an arm around the God and kissed his head. “I won’t leave for awhile.”
“I know.”
“I’ll come back. I’ll always come back.”
“Promise?”
Hangeng turned the half hug in to a full blown body crushing. “Promise,” he whispered into Heechul’s ear.
“I’ll never forgive you if you don’t.”
“I know,” Hangeng chuckled.
Heechul sighed into his shoulder before pulling away to link their fingers tightly. “I wonder,” he mused quietly, “If maybe I should start another war or two.”
Hangeng’s jaw dropped.
“Well,” Heechul said, with a small smirk, “The last one brought you to me, didn’t it? What do you think I can get out of the next one?”
Hangeng blinked at him for a moment before realizing that he was kidding. “You...”
Heechul laughed.
“Don’t do that. You can’t...Heechul!”
The God continued to cackle as he walked back into his chambers, Hangeng following him, intent on causing damage. “Come back here! Apologize to my heart! You made it stop!”
Heechul continued to laugh as he flopped onto the bed.
“Ass!” Hangeng accused, folding his arms.
“And proud of it,” Heechul grinned. “What’s it to you?”
Hangeng paused for a second before crawling in between the God’s legs and letting their lips touch briefly.
“Everything,” he responded.
Heechul decided to not mind that Hangeng hadn’t actually answered the question and instead focused on the way their bodies fit together perfectly.
He thought that immortality was shaping up to be a very pleasant thing.
~~~~~~
I tried to write the next law verse. But after getting a few sentences over the course of this week I was like...okay. Colors just needs to leave my brain.
Anyway. I hope the end of this makes sense. I was originally going to make Hangeng Heechul's new priest so there could be happy ending QMi, but then I was like...eh...the way I wrote this it just isn't possible. :/
So yeah. I hope you guys liked this and it ended well. Good endings are the bane of my existence.
Thx for all the love. :)
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you're forgiven:D
aww...I was hoping they'd have the happy ending too, but I guess this'll do:P
ah well...I liked it:D
~Angel
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<3