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Entry tags:
- cassiopeia,
- dbsk,
- rant,
- tvxq
rambling
I've always maintained that I don't have a favorite in TVXQ. I thought for a little bit that it was Jaejoong, but the more I got into them, the more I realized that I just honestly do not have a favorite. I love each of them equally for their own, individual strengths. And weaknesses.
I think for me, that's why this is hitting so hard. Granted, I'm in a tough life period, adjusting to the real world after college, trying to balance life and fandom, working out my faith, etc., and having all this turmoil in something that was bringing me so much peace of mind is pretty much the suckiest thing ever.
I'm so happy for JCS because they're obviously pleased and it's something that they want to do, so yay for them, and the pieces of my heart that hold them are rejoicing. Th parts that hold Homin are breaking, however, because obviously Changmin's pissed as all hell, and, I don't blame him at all, and I'm sure Yunho's aching inside even though he was courteous.
Idk. You're all prolly like, well, duh. Obviously that's how we all feel, why are you just realizing it now?
Anyway.
Bottom line is, I'm happy, I'm sad, I really want them to sing together, but I want them to be happy with each other first. My needs are nothing and not important in comparison. This isn't going to stop me from loving them or appreciating what they've accomplished. I'm still wearing my TVXQ sweatshirt with pride, I will still love the color red, I will continue to have this awesomeness as my wallpaper and I imagine that I won't be taking it down anytime soon, and I will still identify myself as an unofficial member of Cassiopeia.
And I refuse to stop hoping that I will hear the five of them sing together again. Soon.
So there.
On a side note, I figured out what the hell I was doing wrong with the css, and now I have my pretty header up and it looks beautiful.
I think for me, that's why this is hitting so hard. Granted, I'm in a tough life period, adjusting to the real world after college, trying to balance life and fandom, working out my faith, etc., and having all this turmoil in something that was bringing me so much peace of mind is pretty much the suckiest thing ever.
I'm so happy for JCS because they're obviously pleased and it's something that they want to do, so yay for them, and the pieces of my heart that hold them are rejoicing. Th parts that hold Homin are breaking, however, because obviously Changmin's pissed as all hell, and, I don't blame him at all, and I'm sure Yunho's aching inside even though he was courteous.
Idk. You're all prolly like, well, duh. Obviously that's how we all feel, why are you just realizing it now?
Anyway.
Bottom line is, I'm happy, I'm sad, I really want them to sing together, but I want them to be happy with each other first. My needs are nothing and not important in comparison. This isn't going to stop me from loving them or appreciating what they've accomplished. I'm still wearing my TVXQ sweatshirt with pride, I will still love the color red, I will continue to have this awesomeness as my wallpaper and I imagine that I won't be taking it down anytime soon, and I will still identify myself as an unofficial member of Cassiopeia.
And I refuse to stop hoping that I will hear the five of them sing together again. Soon.
So there.
On a side note, I figured out what the hell I was doing wrong with the css, and now I have my pretty header up and it looks beautiful.
no subject
i mean i dun deny i am angry @ the 3 ,
but somewhere in there,
i know that i obviously have no right to be.
and being a Yunho supporter made the fact even harder to accept...
seeing how easily and happy other fans are ,
i can't help but ask myself ,
why can i be happy for them ?
and my only ans is i loved them as 5 ,
and i can love them individually ,
but i find it difficult to love them when they are broken into 2 groups and when they keep telling us to give them more time and to always keep the faith ...
i guess i am still hurting too much to think logically ,
and perhaps this really spells the end of my fan-girl lifestyle,
but i guess for now ,
only time can tell ....
and i have decided to not harbour any hopes of seeing them back as 5 again , coz i know if that does not happen , i am only giving myself another chance of getting my already fragile heart broken.