❤︎ caleyedoscope ❤︎

Posted is roughly 105,393~ :DD Um. Unposted 61,720.

FUN FACT, HAHA, of the unposted count, 59,823 of that is ONE GODDAMN FIC ;_____; And it is not finished yet.

So. Yeah. Less than what I had last year, but I focused a lot of my huuuuge story rewriting and plotting and stuff so. Fair trade. This year I will finish it and move onto other things.

I also want to try exploring my foray into original fic again. I MUST DO IT. Sometime. After I finish The Monster. Hahahdf :(

You know what I should be doing? Writing. I should be writing. AND PHOTOSHOPPING. So much stuff to get done.

But you know what I'm doing instead?

I AM WATCHING CITY HUNTER. ACTUALLY I'M DONE WATCHING CITY HUNTER AND TWIDDLING MY THUMBS WISHING IT WERE THIS TIME NEXT WEEK SO I COULD FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS.

THE SUSPENSE IS ALREADY KILLING ME. 

I really love this drama. Like. It's not to cheesy but it's not too serious and everything is just working together so nicely. If anyone dies in the end I'm going to be so pissed.



But seriously, if you haven't started watching it already, you should. It is amazing. :)

I don't appreciate people stealing my icons. I spend time working on them, even if they aren't the best, and I know when I see them; they are identifiable down to the last pixel. If you want to use them, ask me. Or even at least credit me. S'not cool to take things that aren't yours. :(

Why don't I have more time?  I have dramas to watch and graphics I want to make and so much work and ;ladkfjdl;;askdfs

I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE. Why do I do this to myself?

Changmin thinks it's all very funny. 



And my own fault, which is true :|||

CBB is done, though, so that's good!!  I feel very accomplished and proud.

I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.

My friends will tell you that a person knows that I love them when I yell lol. So just know that, had I not been wonderfully comfortable with all of you and loved you all to death, I wouldn't have said anything. 

It's your journal. I will still love you desperately even though you don't lj-cut, and I won't de-friend you either. That's dumb.

Feel free to yell at me if you got angry. I just needed to vent ('tis what journals are for, ne?) and it's totally cool if you want to vent back.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

MUAH

I have several things to say. And I'm not cutting it because I want people to read it.

First of all: FUCK THIS IS AN AMAZING PERFORMANCE

It really irritates me that ever since the Issue began people have been all "OMG THEY'RE AREN'T SINGING WELL" AND "THEY'RE NOT ONE" AND "HOMG CRYING FOREVER LOOK AT HOW SAD THEY ARE ALL THE TIME" AND "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE FML" ETC ETC ETC.

I nodded my head for a bit, because, it makes sense, if you don't think about it.

Well, now I've thought about it and fuck them all. 

I love TVXQ.  Heart, Mind, and Soul, baby.  It's worth all the gripe and weird looks I get from...um, well, everyone.  It's worth the sleep I lose so I can catch up on what's going on, worth the hours I spend in front of my computer, worth the money and the heart break and the sorrow.

I refuse to take sides in this.  I trust all five of them, and trust that they're doing what they're doing for their own good. Something that I have said from the beginning, is that all I want if for them to be happy and maintain their friendship. Those two things will always be more important than them staying together as a band and singing as five, as much as I would love that.

I really think that singing wise, they're handling this well.  Seriously, this performance is beautiful.  Their voices are gorgeous, totally in tune, and they actually are blending.  It's just your fangirly ears that want to hear the dissonance. I can find several videos of other performances on youtube that house far too many sour notes than is healthy, as much as it saddens me.  They weren't dealing with the Issue then.  Contrast those to this...yeah.

I REFUSE to let their inner troubles keep me from loving them. Wether they continue on as TVXQ or go their separate ways, I will always hold them in my heart.  This TVXQ that's singing, this is the TVXQ that I love: the group that will sound good and look good and perform well for their fans when really, they probably just want to start bashing each other with their microphones.

Yes, they look sad, but that doesn't meant that I have to "jump ship" or stop loving them, or throw my hands up in the air and give up.  What kind of fan does that make me? Shit, here comes trouble, I don't want to deal with it, see ya later guys.  I'm sure they would really appreciate it.

Anyway.  I've had this song on repeat.  Yoochun is fantastic.  Yunho sounds good. Changmin is divine as usual. Jaejoong doesn't sound like he's forcing his voice, and is just singing beautifully like I know he can, and Junsu...perfect as always. 

Do I hope for something better 2010? Yes.  But I'm really not a superstitious person.  The new year will bring what it will bring, and regardless, I will love TVXQ.  Because I'm Cassiopeia and that's what I do.

That's all I can do.  For them, and for me.

(This goes for Hangeng and Super Junior, too.)

(Sorry for people who were spammed with this twice because of my RL only journal.)

♥

Just because you don't think they're handsome, that doesn't mean it's wrong that I do.  Just because it's not music that you like, doesn't mean it's all wrong.  And just because I like it, it doesn't mean I'm any less of a person.  And it's low, mean, shallow, and rude of you to think that.  

p.s. the people who you think are cute aren't


Heroes starts tonight...maybe that will make me feel better.

I'm glad I deleted my old LJ and started a new one.  I needed some change.